Life of a Hockey Widow

Coming Back!

It's been way too long since I've blogged, and miss it incredibly.  That saying, "Life has gotten in the way," exactly describes why there haven't been any posts.

Sopes has been gone since August, and we're eagerly waiting for his return.  I've dealt with broken hot water heaters, leaking furnaces, flat tires, sprinkler systems and much more!  I now know how to do things like change a dryer coil, and fix an electrical outlet.  Thanks Youtube!  

My store is closing, because admittedly, I can't do it all.  The orignal plan was not to have Sopes away in Russia, but we're rollin' with it.  My time can't be spead so thin that the kids don't see either parent.  I do have the choice, thankfully, and know I'm making the right one for my family.  To all of you working moms - a huge KUDOS!!!  You're my hero.  

I've made great friends with my Crock-pot, and love every minute.  My grocery list is made like clock-work every Sunday, the coupons are clipped and the shopping done.  The meals are scheduled well in advance - pathethic, I'm aware.  Sometimes I wander around thinking, "What the hell and I going to do with myself?"  Sopes is opening his hockey school, so there's always more work to be done.  That on top of finances, kids activities, school work, appointments and housework keeps my ass going!

I am looking forward to a break when he returns, maybe a well deserved spa day... 

 

 

Settling In...

So it's been a month and a half since Sopes has left for the KHL.  I went from not knowing what the hell I was going to do; into an amazing routine.  That's  not to say there aren't bumps here and there. We put Sopes on Skype in the morning when the kids are eating breakfast.  Jayla has discovered that it's easy to close the laptop when she doesn't like what Dad has to say.  Last night it was her backing up the the computer for him to chat with her bum!    

Thankfully, the day of the horrible plane crash, I was Skyping with Sopes.  If not, panic would have set in.  In this electronic era, calling Jake's school and have them let him know that Dad was alright became a top priority.  The last thing we wanted was a kid to read it on a cell phone and tell him false information.  

That day put everything into perspective for us.  I had to tell the kids this weekend that we won't see Sopes him until Christmas.  Before the tears could start, we had a chat about how many kids would never see their dad again.  They still cry over that fact now.  We're VERY lucky to have him around for a solid six months a year.  Words cannot express the sadness I feel for those women who have to tell their children that "Daddy's not coming home."  

Yes, a bit part of me wanted Sopes to come home that day; I believe that he wanted it even more.  After a LONG talk we decided that with the changes they're making, everything would work out.  

Last week he did get calls from 2 NHL teams offering him contracts.  Not gonna lie - I did do a happy dance.  For a couple minutes the thought of him coming home was great!  Nope, he's happy where he is.  Until he's back home, the kids won't ever know that their were other deals.  The shorter season played a big factor in the decision. It's definitely easier on our family life.  If he's got to be away - mine as well be in Siberia!  Yes, that was sarcasm.  Haven't lost my sense of humor!

 

 

 

Life's Twist and Turns

Here we go again.  After the first 10 moves, shit, I've just lost count.  The kids and I are off on a new and exciting adventure. (Or so I tell them.)  With Sopes being gone for the better part of 2 yrs., I believe it's best to be back near family.  Our time in Chicago has been wonderful and we hope to be back soon.  Paul will stay and finish school since there's only one year left for him, it wouldn't make a bit of sense to have him start somewhere new.

On our recent trip to Syracuse, I've purchased a big 'ol farm house on 4.5 acres.  Yup, there's a porch and a barn.  Guaranteed that I'll be able to put a chandelier in that thing.  Long Thanksgiving table, some space heaters and we've got ourselves a party!

Don't get me wrong - it's going to be a ton of work.  This will be perfect with the kids in school and tons of free-time on my hands.  Decorating is truly my passion and making a home for my family has always come pretty easy to me.  Baking, entertaining, sewing, decorating - music to my ears!

Here's a photo of the house.  As the process goes along, I'll be documenting our journey back to the farm.  Sopes won't see the house until Christmas, so I better get crackin'.  Now he has to read my blog just to see what I've been up to.

While he's in Russia, he will be also documenting his journey and posting on my blog.  This will be our 2 year documented diary of sorts.  He's leaving on the 9th of August.  I won't be blogging until after then.  Every moment will be family time...

 

Off to the KHL!

Sometimes, well most of the time, things don't go as planned.  This is one of them.  We have been back in the Syracuse area visiting family for over a week now, and Sopes and Paul returned to Chicago two days ago.  I received a phone call that he signed with the KHL.  Metallurg Novokuznetsk to be exact.  The hardest part is that he's got to leave by August 9th - not much time.

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Off to the KHL!

Sometimes, well most of the time, things don't go as planned.  This is one of them.  We have been back in the Syracuse area visiting family for over a week now, and Sopes and Paul returned to Chicago two days ago.  I received a phone call that he signed with the KHL.  Metallurg Novokuznetsk to be exact.  The hardest part is that he's got to leave by August 9th - not much time.

The phone call went something like this, "I'm off to Siberia"  - and LOTS of silence.  I can't possibly put into words the mix of emotions that we've gone through.  After so many years with Sopes, I do know that mentally he's not done.  When that day comes, we will all be doing a happy dance, but it's not here yet.

It would be crazy to say that this was his first choice.  Chicago would have been great, and we assumed it would be a huge paycut, but he just wasn't in their plans.  

Our family has done the long distance deal for a year now, and we're all used to it.  Obviously, the short trips in won't happen; but we'll make the most of his time when he does make it home. 

On another note, we had an amazing family vacation on the farm and will post photos.  Sopes was in his glory sitting on a tractor for hours.  The RV trip was eventful, but completely enjoyable.  We like to take the kids once a year in an RV and have discovered that it's their favorite type of vacation.  It's great when the dog can come too!

 

 

Waterpark Capital Adventures!

What a wonderful week!  We just returned from an impromptu trip to Wisconsin.  We had an amazing 4th with great friends.  The next morning, Jake had sleepover lacrosse camp for a couple of days, so I decided to take the girls to Wisconsin Dells.  Like most children, if there's water, they're happy! Honestly, water parks are not my favorite places at all.  It wierds me out how there are hundreds of people and no line for the potty - gross!  The people watching is priceless though.

Jayla had a couple "Jayla moments."  At one point I jumped up to scold her for cutting a huge line at the water slides.  Her response was, "I'm not cutting, I'm making another line."  Sometimes her reasoning skills make me ponder.  One other time, we were going back to our lounge chairs after a water ride and she decided to just jump into a pool.  What she didn't think about was how deep it was.  Yup, a lifeguard jumped in after her.  Without skipping a beat, she asked for a pina-colada.  NOTHING fazes her.  Sopes nicknamed her "Denise", instead of Denice the Menace.

Our days were spent in the water parks, doing our nails, reading, and shopping.  On top of finding a Super-Walmart, we discovered an amazing little antique shop that had tons of vintage jewelry.  I'm a sucker for anything vintage, and as I quickly found out my children do too.  Jayla has labelled herself as "100% girlie girl."  At 7 years old, nothing is better than shoes and bags - we're in trouble!  Anyway, the three of us had so much fun trying everything on, and buying a bit too.  Lyla was concerned with how much we were spending.  She's a bit too practical at times, Sopes has trained her well.

Friday was our check-out date, but if you know me, I HATE leaving vacation and ALWAYS extend.  Jake and Sopes drove to meet us on Saturday.  Not surprising, Paul had no interest.  I can't blame him.  We changed rooms to accommodate two more people and it had bunk beds!  I was able to read an entire book on Saturday waiting for Sopes and Jake.  The girls were so excited that they didn't leave the room - and it had a t.v. - BONUS!  A day out of the sun did us some good.

I was in awe of how many arcades there were.  Sopes must have found them all!  It seems as if we spent more time in the arcades than the water; and the amount of useless trinkets we brought home is ridiculous.  The kids already want to go back, but so do we.  

Family time is always nice, I feel as if it recharges me.  I'm not one who needs much time away from the kids; to Sopes dismay.  Eventually, we'll get a little vaca. with just the two of us.  It's been years!  Maybe we should start with just a night out.  We still haven't accomplished that since he's returned.  

 

The Circus Has Left Town...

It's been a while, but doesn't seem like it to me.  This summer has been busy and flying by.  Hopefully, in the coming weeks it will slow down and we'll be able to enjoy it a bit more - maybe even a family vacation.  Fishing and golfing has been at the top of the kids lists.

My sister and her kids just left today after a 5 day visit - or should I say "Circus".  She's got three children ages 6 Emelia, 4 Alex(he has autism) and Abigail 15 months.  

We picked them up at the airport on Wednesday and it was a "Shit-show" from there.  I walked in to help get the kids and suitcases to the car.  Kim, being the nice person, has already made a friend from the plane.  How the hell she spoke to someone who can barely speak English for 2 hours is beyond me, but she did.  Being the unfriendly person I am, "WTF is going on",  is what I said upon greeting her - but not in the acronym sense.  Kim proceeds to tell me that her new friend and her, along with their kids might go to the zoo together.  "Ha - no you're not - stop being nice", was my reply.  I usually have no problem making  it crystal clear that talking is not an option.  Later on, after she received a text that said "I want to touch your hiney", she realized it wasn't the smartest decision to make a new friend on a plane.  Spas, hair salons, nail salons, etc.  I'm there to relax, not to chat - isn't that why I left the house in the first place?  

So Alex, her middle child, had a hard time right away with the fact that their car had to be left at the airport.  The ENTIRE trip, he asked where the car was and "What happened?"  The poor kid just couldn't get adjusted.  I do feel a little victory whenever I'm able to get him to engage.  Not gonna lie, he has a special place in my heart.  When he visits, most of my time is focused on how he's doing - and maybe try to get him to eat something other than pancakes.  I must have made 50!

My daughters are a bit different than her eldest.  Unfortunately, Jayla is a realist in every sense of the word.  Emelia, Kims daughter, has a love for animals that's unlike any I've ever seen - especially stuffed - yup, stuffed.  She proceeded to tell Jayla that she spoke "Dog".  Jayla, of course,  demanded that Emelia do it right there immediately in front of her.  Her excuse that she was unable to do it didn't fly at all.  

Lyla, Jayla and Emelia began playing together on day one.  By day 2, Jayla was off by herself.  She has no patience, plus her OCD was out of control.  Emelia is a normal child and doesn't mind messes or messy things - just like Lyla.  Actually, I do believe we will see Lyla on an episode of "Hoarders" later on in life.  Jayla was LOSING it - along with Jake.  If things are out of place they both don't function.  If their bedroom isn't clean, they don't sleep.  With so many kids in the house, I just accepted the disaster and rolled with it.  Paul was smart - he hid and put his nose in summer homework.

The baby, Abigail, is just as cute as can be - for a little while.  I've compiled a list of things that I DON'T miss about little kids.  I did have some help on this list - Sopes had his input.  We both agree that we're done procreating.  After the last week, we were talking about hiring a nanny for grandkids.  I think that's a sign that we're TIRED!

Dirty diapers

Wet-pee sheets

Bottles

Food on the floor

Watching for sharp corners

Watching for stairs

Crying

Whining

Cutting up food

Sippy Cups

Snacks in little cups

Trying to get kids to bed

Infant car seats

...and the list goes on.  Yup, we're done having babies!

I do have to say, my respect for my sister has increased tremendously.  How she deals with the kids, puts up with her husband working 2 hours away, and the fact that she doesn't drink on a regular basis is beyond me.  He comes home on the weekends, but is clueless when it comes to parenting.  

Sopes always puts in the extra effort when she visits just to give her a little rest.  He took the kids to the store, but had to leave twice to change poopy diapers.  I would NEVER attempt to take 6 kids anywhere - it's like a mobile daycare!  On Saturday, Kim and I went to the movies and dinner.  When we returned, not only were the kids in their jammies watching t.v. or sleeping; but the house was clean, dinner picked up and the outdoor toys were cleaned.  Under stress - I love having him in my corner.

Friday is fast approaching.  Yes, it's extremely stressful waiting to see where Sopes will be next year.  I will blog about free-agency later on in the week.  Until then, we are relishing in our QUIET home.

 

 

 

Free Agency...

And so it begins.  The pit in the stomach of what this year will bring.  We've talked, speculated and talked some more.  It seems as if every time we decide on a plan, life gets in the way.  If I've learned anything in this journey in the NHL with Sopes, it's to expect the unexpected.  July 1st is fast approaching.  No matter what, I will remain here in Chicago - that's guaranteed.

Since he's been home we've been working like crazy!  It seems as if we rarely get to come up for air.  Having our family unit all back together has been perfect.  We're all figuring out how to "click" again.  My favorite part is our family wrestling matches.  Yup, Sopes usually gets his ass kicked by all of the kids.  He truly is gettin' old!

This weekend our son Jake turns 13.  I'm now feeling old!  In my mind he's still the small child who needs me for everything.  I do get a glimpse of that feeling when he crawls into my bed to be held or wants his head rubbed before going to bed.  He's a bit of a scammer - he'll call in Dad for a back rub, and then Paul for his feet rubbed.  No matter how old he is, he'll still be my baby.

Sopes is now back working out and feeling great.  I will never know how someone can rise at 4:30am for the day and work out, let alone function.  Insanity!  I heard that hours like that should be reserved for crack heads and paperboys, I agree!  I'm not a morning person; or a night person for that matter.  Nothing wrong with some regular shut-eye.  It's hard enough just to get Sopes to sit for a meal.  Maybe he's still making up for lost time at home, who knows.

I will be keeping everyone updated on the journey through free-agency.  Feel free to ask any questions (within reason).

 

My Intern with Benefits...

HOLY CRAZINESS!!!  The honeymoon is over - reality has now set in - he's home.  I love him, just from afar!  No, seriously, it's just a big adjustment.  I've had control over every aspect of the house and kids for the past 8 months and now it feels as if it's all unravelling before my eyes.

He's trying to find him place in the family too.  We've adapted without him, and his question is, "Do you guys still need me?"  The answer is, YES, just in a different capacity.  He's changed bed times, wake up times, eating routines - it's all gone to hell.

Last night was hilarious.  I worked late and kept getting the phone calls and texts wondering when I was coming home.  By the time I walked into the house, the kids were all sitting at the table, music on and Sopes was telling me, "Eat before it gets cold".  Big role reversal.  Having a glass of wine and my book on the nightstand was heaven; along with the new box of chocolates.

I've been eating, sleeping and breathing my store lately.  Having Sopes home now to help with the kids has been great.  Knowing that they're with another parent takes so much stress off of me.  During the day he's been working with my assistant, Linda, and I at the store.  Crash course in design for Sopes!  I call him my intern, with benefits of course!

We're opening on Monday, May 9th and they're still so much to do.  There's no going back now.

My Nutella Ice Cream Recipe

Many of you have asked for the Nutella ice cream recipe.  Here's my version - it's so yummy, but super calorie laden!  NOT one of Sopey's diet foods.

2 cups of 2% milk

1 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup sugar

1/3 cup sugar

4 egg yolks

1/2 tsp. vanilla - (I use Madagascar)

3/4 cup Nutella

 

Combine the milk, cream and 1/2 cup sugar in saucepan on medium heat until the sugar is dissolved.

 In a separate bowl, whip the egg yolks and the 1/3 cups sugar until a very pale yellow color.

Pour a bit of the hot milk mixture into the egg mixture to warm it up.  You don't want scrambled eggs when you incorporate it!  

Put it all back on the stove for about 5 - 7 minutes until it gets thick.  Turn off the heat and add the Nutella and vanilla.

I pour it into a pitcher and place in the refrigerator until it's completely cooled.  

Pour the cooled mixture into your ice cream maker!  Enjoy.

CAUTION - The warm mixture is soooo yummy, but the tummy ache, not so much!