Life of a Hockey Widow

Sopes Batman Blog-

When he sent me the video - really I was speechless.  Still am...

 

Halloween Parade at School!!!

Who the hell do you think you are???

Alright, so I've been known as an overbearing mother, and proud of it.  Each day when I get the kids from school there's usually a snack waiting in the car.  Yesterday, was different.  We stopped at our local fruit store after pick-up en-route to a park.  It was probably one of the last days outside after school due to the weather and Jayla's asthma.  

We've been to this fruit store many times before.  They know us by name and the kids love going in for a smoothie or sometimes a soda.  Anyway, the clerk began asking how Brent was doing in Atlanta.  Of course the girls were excited to tell him that Daddy was coming home for Halloween.  Small chat just like every other day; only this was different.  On our way out, in front of other customers, he shouted one more thing.  "I'd love to see your husband back in a Blackhawks uniform and trade for John Scott.  Scott actually makes your husband look fast!"  Yup, he said it - in front of the kids!

These kind of things really test my fucking patience.  Just because my husband's a public figure, DOES NOT give you permission to insult in front of my children.  The girls thought he was being nice and calling Daddy, "A fast skater."  Jake, being 12, knew by my reaction that I was pissed.  I took that incident to explain to him what a back-handed compliment was; along with an asshole.  

A couple year back, we had another incident in front of Jake.  Sopes was coming out of the rink with us after a game.  On our way to the car he's usually signing autographs.  A man with his son came up to us and handed Brent $5.  Sopes looked at him funny and asked what it was for.  The man said, "Use this to go and get a haircut.  You're a role model for kids like my son and you shouldn't be walking around like that."  Seriously, I could have jumped the guy right there.  To insult my husband, not knowing what kind of man he was, and in front of our child?!?!?  

This was one of the proudest moments I've ever experience being Brent wife.  He was calm, handed the money back and signed his kids shirt.  Upon walking away Sopes turned and said, "If you were your sons role model, just like I am to mine, you wouldn't be worrying about my hair."  I was speechless.  

Most people don't know why his hair is long.  Simple - kids don't like change.  It started back in Vancouver.  Sopes and I went to NY for a weekend and ended up getting really bad haircuts that were outrageously expensive.  He joked around that he wasn't getting a haircut for a while because of the price of the last one.  Well, the kids loved it!  Every time he said he was going to cut it off the kids would cry.  Didn't bother us, he left it.  

We've been dealing with this for years.  Yes, Sopes is a hockey player.  He's also a father and a husband.  Sometimes fans will forget that by insulting the player, you're also hurting their children.

 

Ladies, sometimes WE are wrong.

So I'm sitting in Starbucks this morning reading the paper.  Next to me are two women chatting it up.  I suppose they needed an audience with how loud they were talking - sooooo annoying.  Just because we're in the same place, we don't need to be listening to your shit.  

They start talking about shopping.  Of course, well-to-do area + women = shopping.  Alright, but it's NOT ok to hide it from your spouse.  Apparently, it's hilarious to hide it in the trunk of the car until he goes to work the next morning or just cut the tags off.  Then, brace yourself for the bill.  "I know what day it comes, so I'm prepared."  Ladies, what the fuck are you thinking?  Somehow it doesn't seem to make sense to actually create a fight with your spouse a month ahead of time.  You really have nothing better to do.

Maybe this is what's wrong with our society.  All women talk about is that they don't want to "mother" their husbands.  Newsflash  - they don't want to "parent" our asses either.  I believe you have an obligation to your family, not just your spouse, to understand your finances.  It becomes easy to pass it off to one partner, but you're just creating conflict.

I'm the first to say that I LOVE NICE THINGS.  Would I spend what we don't have?  NO.  If you're a homemaker, and for some that term is used loosely, you need to be fiscally responsible.  Make no mistake on what I'm saying - you shouldn't need permission to spend.  If you're both adults, act that way, it can actually be very attractive.

My father has always told me that,"Women give men too much credit, our minds are much simpler." The last thing they want is to fight with us.  I've come to realize over the years that this is very true.  Dad has taken my crying calls after an argument with Sopes and his response if usually the same, "Kel, you're over analyzing the situation".  I know that if my husband's stomach is full, he is "getting it" on a regular basis and the bills are paid he's a happy man.  Men don't really care about the latest shoe; they act like they do to make us happy.  

In the lifestyle that we live, it's hard sometimes to explain to our children that they can't have everything.  Sopes and I tell them, "We don't have the money right now," when they ask for unnecessary things.  Teaching them that it's beneficial to work for things and the difference between "wants" and "needs" will only help them in the future.  How the hell can you teach them about this if you're not following your own advice?

I'm interested to hear your perspectives on this.  What's your opinion?

Missing Sopes...

Flight was cancelled to NYC due to weather here in Chicago.  Dreary day and missing Sopes.  A dear friend sent this to me - explains it all.

 

No more guilt...for a little while anyway.

First of all...prizes will go out later this week or beginning of next.  I've underestimated how busy and hectic my life actually is.  (Plus, Sopes needs to mail them to me - sometimes explaining to him that there's a time-frame just doesn't work.)

The winner of the wine - Randy Saeks.  Great idea, but we've decided not to really use any of them right now.  Keep reading...they don't miss us!

We've discovered that the kids are fine when we're both gone.  Kind of like a frickin' party for them!  Because I'm always home - this is a pure vacation.  We've hired a strict Lithuanian woman to help out, but her accent is all too amusing to the kids.  I've attached a video of Jake being Jake.  He actually does this to her, then wonders why he's always in trouble.  I guess at 12yrs. old, everything is funny.

 

Lyla, who's 8 keep in mind, decided that she was going to be a teenager.  Called her friend to come over, put her shoes on and took off on her bike.  Her excuse?  "Mommy says that it's her job to keep us happy, healthy, and safe.  I'm happy, riding my bike is healthy and my helmet keeps me safe."  Not so healthy when I wanted to beat the hell out of her for scaring us!!!  I guess she really thought that out, that's the most frightening part.

Jayla, is always just Jayla.  Being 6, she hates anything that's uncomfortable.  Underwear is at the top of her list.  I do admit, if she's wearing pants, it's good enough for me.  Apparently, when they were all out to dinner, Jake noticed she had her pants down and sitting bare ass on the chair!!  The nanny was mortified, and the kids were hysterically laughing.  Jayla didn't like how it felt with pants and underwear along with the fabric of the chair.  Got to give her credit, she came up with her own way of fixing it.

Nobody noticed I was back home.  When I picked them up from school on Friday, it was as if I had never left!  Kind of depressing...why the hell did I feel so guilty?

Sopes came home on Sunday!!  We went pumpkin picking, rode bikes and played football outside.  Well, he kind of watched the football game.  In the game on Saturday, Brent broke the top of his finger and got some, "zippers" as he calls it.  Looking at that kept the kids occupied for a while and grossed the hell out of me.

When it came time to carve pumpkins, I made it easy.  Figuring that I'd be the one who was going to be doing the carving; I bought plastic attach-on faces at the craft store.  Cheesy, but easy.  Worked out great - no mess, and Dad was on-time for his flight.  Mission accomplished!!

 

Sopes Friday Video Blog - with Byfuglien

 

New Wives Room...

Last night was my first hockey game in Atlanta.  Was I excited...no.  Nervous...yes.  A new team always reminds me of your first day at a new school.  Are the people going to be nice?  Will you feel welcome?  Will I get lost?  

I've been through a bunch of these now; you'd think it would get easier but it never does.  The "Wives Room" is always the hardest part.  You'd have to be crazy to think that you can put so many women in one room and have them all get along.  Some personalities are stronger than others; while some take on the ego's of their guys.  Not a fun thing to deal with.

This is a very young team, so not many girls.  I had a surprisingly relaxing night.  Everyone was welcoming and so kind.  Pretentious, is surely not a word that would be used to describe them.  More like - down to earth.  It felt like I was watching a game in  my family room with a bunch of friends.  There's been so many roster changes in Atlanta, so the conversation was mainly about how everyone was settling in.

I used to attend many games in his earlier career.  When the kids were small, it was easy to put them to bed and leave.  Now that they're older, there's homework coming out of their asses, (that we have to help with) and tons of social activities.  Last year 5 games was my limit.  This year probably won't change.

Sopes and I used to think the kids were crazy when they'd pass up the opportunity to attend a game.  In reality they had an amazing perspective.  Why go to a game, deal with the crowds, listen to the noise, and stay up so late when they could watch it in their jammies while snuggling in Mom's warm bed and fall asleep.  Many wouldn't argue with that.

I do have to admit that it is kind of sad watching the games on t.v. this year.  Knowing he's not coming home after really sucks.   I've always had his dinner in the warming drawer all ready for him.  He'd come up and eat in bed (while I put towels down in case of a spill) and we'd talk about the night; his hockey and the kids.  This was a private moment that I miss ever so much.  Last night it was dinner in a loud restaurant and we were completely exhausted.  Just not the same at all.  (Snuggling together in a booth like newlyweds wasn't all that bad though.)

Although are lives are completely crazy right now, we know we'll get through it.  Just these little trips back and forth are helping tremendously.  We're forced to be the ultimate planners!  Not so fun and spontaneous, but it gives us something to look forward to.  

Today, I will go with him to the rink and watch practice.  Never thought this would happen, but anytime we can get together is worth it.  This means more time to chat because of the long car ride.  Wouldn't give it up for the world!!

A quick update and...This weeks giveaway

I'm back! Had a great weekend with the kids, well just the girls. Paul is forever studying and Jake went back to NY to visit family. Probably long overdue for all of us, but he needed it the most.

On Saturday, I took "Thing 1 and Thing 2" into our village for the Halloween festival. The day couldn't have been more beautiful. After overloading them with sugar, we walked up to the costume judging booth. You fill out a form, they make jokes with the kids and wait for the announcement. Me, being the OCD person that I am, saw them put Lyla's paperwork into the small stack. She must have won - or I'm crazy...or both.

We waited until 2pm for the announcement. If it was Jayla that won, we wouldn't have waited. Lyla NEEDED this boost of confidence. Every mom knows their kids - this would be the highlight of her life for a while. Anyway, so we waited, and waited....and waited. Now I was getting nervous - did I fuck this up royally and she didn't win? At this point I'm sitting there explaining that even if she didn't win, she was still perfect - blah, blah, blah and all of that shit. Kids really don't buy it, but we feel like we have to say it. Kind of mom protocol. Second to last!!!! She won!!! I was so excited that I jumped out of my chair screaming. This poor kid has been bullied and bullied - did I mention that she NEEDED this?

Great - now I have a crying little girl sitting here. Sounds crazy...didn't feel bad. Jayla is the baby of the family, and is treated that way. Kind of the squeaky wheel in our house. In school she has tons of friends, play dates all of the time and has never been bullied. Yep - no sympathy from me. Her costume wasn't even put on the right way. A "Miss Pirate" doesn't wear old sweatpants, a ripped up shirt and CHRISTMAS SOCK!!! I tried to explain that if she wore the costume the right way, maybe she would have won. Her response was, "You're the worst Mom and this is the worst day of my life". I'm thinking if this is the worst day, her life is pretty fucking amazing!

Later that night, Jayla actually asked, "Can tomorrow be all about me, because today was all about Lyla?" It was my job to remind her that everyday is kind of about her anyway, because she makes it that way. There's always one in every family. I know my family is probably reading this laughing. Yeah, it was me when I was growing up - now Jayla's my cross to bear.

So now I'm in Atlanta. Same job, different location. Landed yesterday afternoon - straight to the grocery store. LOVED having Sopes there with me!! Seemed romantic, I guess anything is when not being trailed by the kids. I usually have the guilt that Sopey is alone, now it's the guilt that the kids are. I'm coming to terms that the guilt will follow me.

Today there's laundry (don't think he's done it since I was here last), cooking, filling the freezer, cleaning and bill paying. The great thing is that I'm able to have wine while completing my tasks...no children! I MISS THEM TERRIBLY!!!

THIS WEEKS GIVEAWAY - 4 bottles of wine from Reeves Farms.

This is homemade wine is from my families farm in Upstate New York. Yum, yum, yum. We figured this would tie-in perfectly with my week.

Let us know creative ways to keep in touch with the kids while I'm away. Has to be fun and lighthearted - cheesy is always good.

Sopes Friday Blog -

Sorry it's blurry, but he's obviously in his hotel room in Cali!!!