It’s been a while, I know. Christmas was wonderful! New Years was pretty boring, nice.
Finally, hitting my breaking point! I haven’t gotten pissed at Sopes since he moved. We both know this is what was best for our family and have pretty much sucked it up. Yesterday, kind of lost it – ok – went fucking crazy!!
I got through the holidays, cooking, shopping, wrapping, planning, the whole deal. Completely get it that he can’t help out. Being home with the kids for 2 weeks without a break, Jayla with her asthma attacks, me working everyday now and to top it off Jake is now having nightmares! I’ve hit a wall! One night of solid sleep would do me some good.
Yesterday was my move in day for the store. Sopes played in Montreal on Sunday and had yesterday off. Yeah, so I was hoping for him to come in and help me out. Nope – off to Florida to bask in the sun he went. Don’t get me wrong; he does come home more than I thought he would and does deserve the time to relax. His body is pretty beaten up, but the help would have been nice. Trying to lift the boxes, put furniture together and scrub everything down sucked without help.
I was woken up Monday morning at 4am to his late night phone call. Being up with the kids is one thing – this is another. His phone calls of boredom, along with, “It’s too hot here”; just not welcoming at all! I’ve got enough on my plate without trying to figure out his huge problems, like where to find a pair of shorts.
I, trying to be the patient wife, didn’t say a word until 8:15 last night. The kids were gone to bed and Dad still hadn’t called. Finally, I called him. Apparently, he just sat down to watch the football game. Before that? He was at dinner relaxing and watching the hockey game. Yup, lost it! I’d love just 10min. without worrying about everyone, let alone a 3 hour leisurely meal!
I did try going about my day this morning. Not wanting to fight the issue of clothes this morning, I dressed the girls while they were still sleeping. Jake off to school, check. Jayla off to school, check. Lyla, ortho appt. then off to school, check. The point where I knew it was a bed day? In Starbucks this morning they ran out of the little pink donuts I love. Haven't had them in over a month, but wanted to treat myself. I actually ended up fucking crying! This is when all of the moms out there know that you're too spent to actually have any sort of a productive day. My judgement at this point was questionable on all levels.
Today I’m spending the day in bed. Watching t.v. and reading. I’d love to take a bath, but that’s a whole other deal! The water in the tub is coming out brown. I’ve called the plumber, who couldn’t fix it, and have now given up. This would not be at the top of the priority list at the moment.
I officially need a break! Maybe when he comes home for All-star break, I need to go on vacation…
I'm sorry that you are having a bad day. It sounds like you are overwhelmed to say the least. I, like most women out there totally understand what you are going through. At this point you probably feel like a single mom don't you? You can't change the situation that you are in. You just have to get through it until your husband returns. It seems unfair that you have to balance the world on your shoulders but, that's what we moms do best. Just remember that your stress can easily be projected on to the kids without you knowing it. I swear I feel like the world's worst mom sometimes. My boy gets nightmares too. He sleepwalks, which makes my night all the more fun. This usually happens when either he or I had a bad day and we spend the day fighting. Here's a suggestion...
Go to a hotel overnight with the kids. Let them play in the pool while you relax. The kids will de-stress and so will you. We did that in December and it was wonderful. Just one night to do nothing but, play. No cell phone, no computer, just you enjoying your kids.
Posted by: Vetwanabe2003 | 01/04/2011 at 12:29 PM
I totally understand how you feel. And us moms have our limits. If there is any advice I can give you is to not be hard on yourself- you're doing a great job, and plan your vacation during his break. Don't just think about it, plan it. Even if it's just a day or two, you will feel like a new woman. Best of luck...hang in there...
Posted by: nacalae | 01/04/2011 at 12:49 PM
you are actually amazing. and although its sounds like you've been having a couple of hard days - you just brightened mine! lol
Posted by: Kulnyte | 01/04/2011 at 01:18 PM
OMG I hear u sister..we dont have any kids yet but im struggling with work, travelling back and fourth to see my hubby and manage a whole house ( shoveling snow and so on) in the same time..My stresslevel is at its Peak right now!!
Posted by: Kudrocova.blogspot.com | 01/04/2011 at 01:18 PM
I'm so sorry, I'm sure this is all too much to take. FWIW, your husband has played so well in Atlanta that he has become a fan favorite and a crucial part of the team's surprise success this year. We'd all love to see him re-signed for a multiyear deal but I'm sure it would be hard to move again down here - but the towns around the practice rink are a great place to raise a family. Hope 2011 gets better for you real soon. All the best to you.
Posted by: LanceblairATLVO | 01/04/2011 at 02:08 PM
I'm sure my Mom can relate, my Dad worked 24/7 when i was little and i have 2 older brothers. Then when they got divorced, she inherited 4 more from my stepdad. After Christmas a few years ago I once saw her sit and cry in the bathroom because she couldn't find her hair brush. I think that was her breaking point. Now it's better that her youngest (me) is finally in college. So you only have a few more years go to ;)
Posted by: Kara Hille | 01/04/2011 at 02:15 PM
Are you actually serious?
Count your blessing and be happy you have a hubby playing in the NHL, two healthy kids, plenty of money. Hmm, how many families have 2 fulltime working parents, 3 kids and a late mortgage?
ummmmm, Not even to mention that stanley cup last year!!nuff said
GO Thrashers!!
Posted by: Rhinocub | 01/04/2011 at 05:18 PM
Sounds like you could use a hug and some help with the store....I'm avaiable (I haven't work since the end of Nov. 2008 and still looking for work/something to do....volunteering etc.)
Posted by: Trisha | 01/04/2011 at 06:05 PM
Rhinocub -- having money doesn't mean you can't have a hard day/week. Get over yourself.
Posted by: PensHawksLeafs | 01/04/2011 at 06:08 PM
Rhinocub- I have four children...
Posted by: realhockeywidow | 01/04/2011 at 06:11 PM
Do not let anyone make you feel your problems are inferior to anyone else's. Regardless of one's financial stability, your problems are still YOUR problems. They are still worthy of being dealt with. If you ignored your problems because of all your blessings, you would be doing your children and your self a great disservice. They would not be getting the 'best' of their mother, and you would not be truly fulfilled. Take a day or two off. Watch your favorite movie, drink your favorite coffee. Enjoy your "mental health" day, because YOU do deserve it.
Posted by: HawkeyFan89 | 01/04/2011 at 09:01 PM
K--
I only know you and your life by what you let us see of it. I cannot imagine how you do all that you do. You and Brent made decisions based on what was best for the kids not you, not him, nor your bank accounts. That speaks volumes. Everyone has a breaking point. Everyone deserves a day of nothing but laying in the bed wanting something more. You are inspiring. Get up in the morning, do your morning routine, and go on with your day.
I have seen Brent a few times a the practice facility in the last month. My 7 year old daughter talked to him last week and he made some impression on her. She has never had a favorite player. She liked goalies. She now has a favorite player (they are different in her mind).
Thanks for sharing a piece of your life with us.
Posted by: Sandy Couey | 01/04/2011 at 09:55 PM
You're under a lot of stress, and with the added responsibility of getting your store running, there is absolutely no surprise that it's making you feel frayed at the edges!
Remember to take a few minutes every day where it's just about you - whether it's indulging in that little pink donut, or it's finding 15 minutes for a quick soak in the tub before bed, or just five minutes to breathe a little and empty your brain out, or a quick walk around the block. I know it's hard to find that time in a crazy schedule, but it's important.
As for the ASG break: getting away at least for a couple days sounds like a great idea, whether it's going somewhere locally for a day or two for a spa treatment, or spending the day at the movies, or going with a couple girlfriends somewhere fun for a weekend. You definitely need to take time for yourself. Hope the store opening is coming along on schedule for you. Hang in there. :)
Posted by: HockeyBroad | 01/05/2011 at 02:48 AM
Rhinocub- Unfortunately (and contrary to popular belief) becoming Superwoman does not occur simutaneously with your husband signing an NHL contract. I think that's pretty evident in this (and most other hockey wives' blogs, too), that the life is not always sugar and spice, and hockey families, no matter what level, are just normal, everyday people :)
Real Hockey Widow- hope you enjoyed your day off! I got exhausted just reading your post. Good for you for going this long without breaking down, that's impressive! Maybe you should take that vacation... ;)
Posted by: Mylifeasahockeywife.blogspot.com | 01/05/2011 at 08:00 AM
I only have one child and I feel like I barely manage some days. I cannot imagine how you do it with three! It takes a strong woman to balance it all, that is for sure. I haven't quite reached my breaking point but I've come close a few times this season. I'm heading to Las Vegas for a few days during the break - some much needed R&R!
Posted by: Hockey Wife | 01/05/2011 at 05:13 PM
I feel your pain 100 percent!! My husband works crazy hours at his job plus has a second job that sometimes requires he go out of town. I am pretty much on my own most of the time. I have two boys that I shuttle to two different schools, then basketball, wrestling and OT after school. On top of that I have MS and work part-time. The other day I almost cried when I went to Fresh and Easy found out they didnt sell my favorite fruit and cheese snack!!! It gets so overwhelming sometimes, but it's important to get sometime for your self and to pamper yourself. A mani/pedi or a new purse does wonders!!!!! Hang in there!!!
PS: Love this blog!
Posted by: Mcognac | 01/25/2011 at 06:06 PM