Life of a Hockey Widow

Daddy's Home!!!

Great weekend - (minus the sports world)!  The kids and I snuggled up in the house and spent some great quality time together.  Jake had lacrosse on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  It's now 5 days a week, but completely bearable.

We all watched both football games, along with Sopes game.  Paul and Jake decided to do the "football spread" of food.  I do welcome the help!  They even made ice cream floats - everyone's favorite!  Lyla cleaned up the whole kitchen after the games - it was pretty humorous to unload the dishwasher.  She had maybe 2 things on top and 6 on the bottom.  Can't complain when the effort was there.

Right before the game, the girls came upstairs from the basement looking like hot messes!  They decided to do their make-up for the game.  Half blue and half orange.  Took me forever to get it off of their faces!!  They'll use any event to get "fancied up".

I'm a little early on Valentine's Day this year.  We've already started our cards, baked some cookies and pulled out the decorations.  The weather has been so grey, color is a nice change!  Personally, I'm not a fan of the holiday in the romantic sense, but love it for the kids.  Trying to be romantic on one set day isn't my style.  I'd rather have a surprise on a random day...like today!

The dog began barking this morning at 7:30.  We had just finished breakfast and were getting coats on to start the drop off process.  Sopes was at the front door!!  He has today off and decided that he needed to get away after the loss last night.  Hearing the kids scream, "DADDY", puts a smile on my face.  I guess having a +/- like a golf score doesn't make him so happy - seeing us - he's happy again!!

 

 

You want to see bruises?!?!?!?!

So blogging hasn't been at the top of the list lately.  My head has been swirling, and shit hittin' the fan.  If you keep up with the blog, you'll remember how I was "TAKING THE HOUSE BACK".  Well, it's been done!

I now have a zero tolerance policy in the house.  Counting to three and making myself sound like an idiot - OVER!  The kids are old enough to get it.  It's been amazing, but we had one "hiccup".  

Lyla decided that she was tired of getting into trouble, and it was time for someone else to.  On Thursday, she went into school and met with the social worker.  This is usually a fun occassion for her.  They chat, play games, sometimes read books, etc.  She goes once a week to address her dyslexia and help her understand that she's different.   She began telling the social worker that she's being abused at home by her brother, Jake.  Lyla went so far as to say that she has bruises from him, and that she's scared to tell mom.

I'm at home, working away, when the phone rings.  It's the social worker telling me what Lyla has said.  Of course, my immediate reaction was to laugh.  Nope, I had to go into school.  If there were bruises, they said they'd have to take action!  Me, being the hard-ass, told her that I'd be in during Lyla's outdoor recess.  I knew this was a lie, and there was no way she was going to get play-time!

I march my ass into school, act patient in the social workers office.  Really, I wanted to grab her by her ear and tell her that I can show her what bruises really are!  As soon as Lyla realized that I was pulling down her pants to show them that there were no bruises she began to hysterically cry and yetll, "Don't tell Jake".  Of course, because IT'S A LIE!!  Each story she told us began with Lyla actually hitting her brother and her brother pulling or pushing her.  Glad the social worker did her homework....NOT!

Yes, Mommy was quite pissed off.  What made me more mad, was the fact that the social worker would not call her on it.  Lyla was told that it was good for her to tell an adult.  I CALL BULLSHIT!!  The social worker said that it was punishment enough that she had to have her pants pulled down and I shouldn't address it further at home.  NO FUCKING WAY!  She was grounded, had to apologize to Jake and her fun classes were taken away.  

Kids are getting too much control in these situations.  Yes, if you're being abuse, it's good to tell an adult.  If they adult realizes it's a lie, action needs to take place.  What has this world come to when I need to defend one child against the other and the social workers won't call them out on this???  Our reputation would have been torn apart, our innocent child would have gone through hell.  As my sister said, "This isn't he broke my pencil sort of shit."

The kids have been gems since then.  I think they're getting the hang of it now!  Thanks God!!

 

 

Today's a New Day...

Doing MUCH better today.  Spending the day in bed helped bunches.  Curled up with my blanket watching the Notebook was a great way to spend the afternoon.  Hell, I even made the biggest plate of pasta and loaded it with butter and cheese!

The kids were funny when I picked them up from school.  Me, being in my pajamas, telling them we had to stop at the store drew some silence.  I decided to make myself some lemon meringue martinis along with a big salad for dinner.  The kids had no activities, so it was perfect timing.

I was cursing Sopes when I reached for some vanilla vodka and realized he took pretty much all of the alcohol with him to Atlanta.  Yes, it took me until January to figure this out - not much of a drinker!  The kids found this rather amusing - they let him know when he called last night.  Anyway, the drinks were amazing and the salad even better!  I finished it all with some wagon wheels from Canada.  They're my favorite and the in-laws always keep us replenished.

So, today is a new day.  The morning started out much better.  Had three of them off by 7:40 and the fourth at 8:15.  A hot shower and life is good!  When Sopes called this morning I handed the phone off to Lyla.  That's punishment enough for him.  She'll talk about nothing FOREVER and keep him on the phone.  Rambling is what she does best!

BTW - thanks for all of the kind messages yesterday.  Everyone has good days and bad days.  Moms out there realize this the most!  We all have our own set of problems.  Diminishing, and scrutinizing doesn't do anyone good.

 

 

Everyone has a breaking point - I've reached mine!

It’s been a while, I know.  Christmas was wonderful!  New Years was pretty boring, nice.

Finally, hitting my breaking point! I haven’t gotten pissed at Sopes since he moved.  We both know this is what was best for our family and have pretty much sucked it up.  Yesterday, kind of lost it – ok – went fucking crazy!!

I got through the holidays, cooking, shopping, wrapping, planning, the whole deal.  Completely get it that he can’t help out.  Being home with the kids for 2 weeks without a break, Jayla with her asthma attacks, me working everyday now and to top it off Jake is now having nightmares!  I’ve hit a wall!  One night of solid sleep would do me some good.

Yesterday was my move in day for the store.  Sopes played in Montreal on Sunday and had yesterday off.  Yeah, so I was hoping for him to come in and help me out.  Nope – off to Florida to bask in the sun he went.  Don’t get me wrong; he does come home more than I thought he would and does deserve the time to relax.  His body is pretty beaten up, but the help would have been nice.  Trying to lift the boxes, put furniture together and scrub everything down sucked without help. 

I was woken up Monday morning at 4am to his late night phone call.  Being up with the kids is one thing – this is another.  His phone calls of boredom, along with, “It’s too hot here”; just not welcoming at all!  I’ve got enough on my plate without trying to figure out his huge problems, like where to find a pair of shorts.

I, trying to be the patient wife, didn’t say a word until 8:15 last night.  The kids were gone to bed and Dad still hadn’t called.  Finally, I called him.  Apparently, he just sat down to watch the football game.  Before that?  He was at dinner relaxing and watching the hockey game.  Yup, lost it!  I’d love just 10min. without worrying about everyone, let alone a 3 hour leisurely meal!

I did try going about my day this morning.  Not wanting to fight the issue of clothes this morning, I dressed the girls while they were still sleeping.  Jake off to school, check.  Jayla off to school, check.  Lyla, ortho appt. then off to school, check.  The point where I knew it was a bed day?  In Starbucks this morning they ran out of the little pink donuts I love.  Haven't had them in over a month, but wanted to treat myself.  I actually ended up fucking crying!  This is when all of the moms out there know that you're too spent to actually have any sort of a productive day.  My judgement at this point was questionable on all levels.

Today I’m spending the day in bed.  Watching t.v. and reading.  I’d love to take a bath, but that’s a whole other deal!  The water in the tub is coming out brown.  I’ve called the plumber, who couldn’t fix it, and have now given up.  This would not be at the top of the priority list at the moment. 

I officially need a break!  Maybe when he comes home for All-star break, I need to go on vacation…