Life of a Hockey Widow

Off to Montreal He Goes...

As you now know, he's been traded.  FINALLY, we will be able to get some sleep.  Last night was horrible!  Not knowing what was going on, but knowing that something would be.

Sopes is already at the airport and ready to fly out.  This is the nature of the beast, moving at a moments notice!

The kids have arrived home from school and just found out.  I guess they're well adjusted, because without skipping a beat they asked, "Can we play outside?"  Not having to pick them up and move again is a beautiful thing.  Trying to work and figure out all of the logistics, not so fun.

Atlanta was a wonderful place for Sopes.  The fans welcomed him, along with our family, with open arms.  I can't thank them enough for following me on my blog, sending me photos and the kind words that we've received.  It's true - southern hospitality rocks!!  It will all be truly missed.

Sopes is VERY excited to be in Montreal!  To be in the play-off race is what it's all about.  I know he will give his all when he steps on the ice each night, just like he's always done.  On Saturday night, when he steps on the ice, I will be the proud wife in the stands!!  GO SOPES #55!

 

 

 

Daddy HELP!!

Like every other working mom in America, sometimes it's overwhelming.  Last week was no different.  My nanny, who is more like my second set of hands, was in Hawaii on vacation.  I had to manage my time wisely,  so making beds and laundry was not at the top of the list!  

By the end of the week, I could tell the kids were getting antsy.  Maybe it was the fact that I packed cereal for lunch along with double milk money (It's healthy right?), or the fact that for once I wasn't running around cleaning.  They're all very used to a schedule and how things are done the "Mommy Way".  I wasn't trying to be lazy, just prioritize.  Snuggling was MUCH more important!

When I woke on Sunday, all of the kids were cleaning.  Beds made, clean rooms, even unloading and loading the dishwasher!  Life was great - or so I thought.  The phone rang, it was Sopes.  He was laughing his ass off about a text message that Jake had sent him.  Apparently, the laundry was a huge issue.  The kids neatly piled it all and took this photo to send to Daddy - along with the word HELP.  If Sopes was home, it never would have looked like that.  He NEVER sits!  Yes, it's a huge pet-peeve of mine that he can't just relax.

So I spent Sunday relaxing, and doing laundry.  By Sunday night the kids were in amazement that it was complete.  Putting it away...wasn't that ambitious!

UNCLE!!!

Ok- today is one of those days! Stressed and ready for Sopes to just come home. I miss him terribly! While I haven't had a day like this in a while, it still blows!

The sun is shining, but not on my world today...Maybe a Shamrock Shake will do the trick.

Trade Deadline...

So now we're just shy of two weeks until the NHL trade deadline.  This year it's a bit easier to breathe, seeing that Sopes is the only one of us in Atlanta.  If he's traded, the kids won't have to make any adjustments to their lives.  HUGE plus in my book!

On the other hand, I'm still holding my breath.  He's an UFA at the end of the season, which means he can try and get a deal with any team willing to negotiate.  His rights won't belong to any particular team.  There are good and bad sides to that - won't get into those.

Anyway, it's just two weeks of the unknown.  Will he still be in Atlanta?  When is the next time we will see him?  I'm not scheduling any trips between now and then, but explaining that to the girls is a bit trying.  They really can't wrap their mind around the whole "Traded" conversation.  Our youngest, Jayla, thinks Daddy should come home and work for a toy store.  

I always try not to read what the trade rumors say, but must admit that it's so hard not to.  They've never been accurate before, why would they be now?  I remember when we were in Long Island, the deadline had passed, but he wasn't safe.  A couple hours later we received a call he was traded to LA.  Sometimes he is informed from the media before that actual team.  It's just a crazy world!  The only thing I can do is promise the kids that Daddy will be home in June.  Who knows what can happen between now and then!

Bringing You Up To Speed...

Again, it's been quite a while.  We've been pretty busy in our house! The kids have been VERY patient with me lately.  Trying to work and be Mom is pretty draining, but rewarding.  I've definitely had my moments when I think it's not going to be possible, but it's working out.  Trying to figure out the balance will be trial and error.

This past weekend was a rough one.  Jake had lacrosse for three hours during the day Saturday, then another practice at 7pm that night.  I guess I have nothing better to do anyway on my Saturday nights!  He was exhausted so I served him dinner in bed.  Yup, spoiled, but well deserved!

Lyla and Jayla played in the snow all weekend, along with loooong stints of play-dough.  It's so cold out, but they stay out for hours!  They had umbrellas in the snow on Saturday, and when it snowed during the night, they were igloos!  It looked adorable!   Lyla decided they should play "Cake Wars" with their play-dough, and made really cupcakes later on.  When they were getting ready to decorate them with the Superbowl team colors, we had to repeat the teams no less than 10 times.  At one point, Lyla thought the Ravens and Bears were playing.  I guess their mind was on the treat!  Jayla just wanted to eat~  Sometimes I wish their creativity would rub off on me a bit.

Sunday...not so fun.  I had great ambitions to "GSD" (get-shit-done), as I call it in this house.  Jake and Paul were MISERABLE when I asked them to help put together shoe organizers during the Superbowl.  In my mind, I thought we would all be happier with an organized house.  Lyla and I spent a couple hours in The Container Store looking at every gadget imaginable.  Really, there's a container for EVERYTHING!  It's an OCD paradise!

My husband hated the Half-time Show, but we loved it here.  The girls were jumping around and dancing the whole time.  I was trying to blow-dry the girls hair, and they kept running away to dance! Sopes isn't into professional football or basketball, he loves his college sports.

Tonight it's school projects galore, along with lacrosse.  I'll check Sopes scored on my phone, this has been the norm. for the past couple of years.  

Tomorrow~Daddy's home!!  The kids have no idea, but will be excited to see him.  I'll post some photos at some point this week~

Daddy's Home!!!

Great weekend - (minus the sports world)!  The kids and I snuggled up in the house and spent some great quality time together.  Jake had lacrosse on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  It's now 5 days a week, but completely bearable.

We all watched both football games, along with Sopes game.  Paul and Jake decided to do the "football spread" of food.  I do welcome the help!  They even made ice cream floats - everyone's favorite!  Lyla cleaned up the whole kitchen after the games - it was pretty humorous to unload the dishwasher.  She had maybe 2 things on top and 6 on the bottom.  Can't complain when the effort was there.

Right before the game, the girls came upstairs from the basement looking like hot messes!  They decided to do their make-up for the game.  Half blue and half orange.  Took me forever to get it off of their faces!!  They'll use any event to get "fancied up".

I'm a little early on Valentine's Day this year.  We've already started our cards, baked some cookies and pulled out the decorations.  The weather has been so grey, color is a nice change!  Personally, I'm not a fan of the holiday in the romantic sense, but love it for the kids.  Trying to be romantic on one set day isn't my style.  I'd rather have a surprise on a random day...like today!

The dog began barking this morning at 7:30.  We had just finished breakfast and were getting coats on to start the drop off process.  Sopes was at the front door!!  He has today off and decided that he needed to get away after the loss last night.  Hearing the kids scream, "DADDY", puts a smile on my face.  I guess having a +/- like a golf score doesn't make him so happy - seeing us - he's happy again!!

 

 

You want to see bruises?!?!?!?!

So blogging hasn't been at the top of the list lately.  My head has been swirling, and shit hittin' the fan.  If you keep up with the blog, you'll remember how I was "TAKING THE HOUSE BACK".  Well, it's been done!

I now have a zero tolerance policy in the house.  Counting to three and making myself sound like an idiot - OVER!  The kids are old enough to get it.  It's been amazing, but we had one "hiccup".  

Lyla decided that she was tired of getting into trouble, and it was time for someone else to.  On Thursday, she went into school and met with the social worker.  This is usually a fun occassion for her.  They chat, play games, sometimes read books, etc.  She goes once a week to address her dyslexia and help her understand that she's different.   She began telling the social worker that she's being abused at home by her brother, Jake.  Lyla went so far as to say that she has bruises from him, and that she's scared to tell mom.

I'm at home, working away, when the phone rings.  It's the social worker telling me what Lyla has said.  Of course, my immediate reaction was to laugh.  Nope, I had to go into school.  If there were bruises, they said they'd have to take action!  Me, being the hard-ass, told her that I'd be in during Lyla's outdoor recess.  I knew this was a lie, and there was no way she was going to get play-time!

I march my ass into school, act patient in the social workers office.  Really, I wanted to grab her by her ear and tell her that I can show her what bruises really are!  As soon as Lyla realized that I was pulling down her pants to show them that there were no bruises she began to hysterically cry and yetll, "Don't tell Jake".  Of course, because IT'S A LIE!!  Each story she told us began with Lyla actually hitting her brother and her brother pulling or pushing her.  Glad the social worker did her homework....NOT!

Yes, Mommy was quite pissed off.  What made me more mad, was the fact that the social worker would not call her on it.  Lyla was told that it was good for her to tell an adult.  I CALL BULLSHIT!!  The social worker said that it was punishment enough that she had to have her pants pulled down and I shouldn't address it further at home.  NO FUCKING WAY!  She was grounded, had to apologize to Jake and her fun classes were taken away.  

Kids are getting too much control in these situations.  Yes, if you're being abuse, it's good to tell an adult.  If they adult realizes it's a lie, action needs to take place.  What has this world come to when I need to defend one child against the other and the social workers won't call them out on this???  Our reputation would have been torn apart, our innocent child would have gone through hell.  As my sister said, "This isn't he broke my pencil sort of shit."

The kids have been gems since then.  I think they're getting the hang of it now!  Thanks God!!

 

 

Today's a New Day...

Doing MUCH better today.  Spending the day in bed helped bunches.  Curled up with my blanket watching the Notebook was a great way to spend the afternoon.  Hell, I even made the biggest plate of pasta and loaded it with butter and cheese!

The kids were funny when I picked them up from school.  Me, being in my pajamas, telling them we had to stop at the store drew some silence.  I decided to make myself some lemon meringue martinis along with a big salad for dinner.  The kids had no activities, so it was perfect timing.

I was cursing Sopes when I reached for some vanilla vodka and realized he took pretty much all of the alcohol with him to Atlanta.  Yes, it took me until January to figure this out - not much of a drinker!  The kids found this rather amusing - they let him know when he called last night.  Anyway, the drinks were amazing and the salad even better!  I finished it all with some wagon wheels from Canada.  They're my favorite and the in-laws always keep us replenished.

So, today is a new day.  The morning started out much better.  Had three of them off by 7:40 and the fourth at 8:15.  A hot shower and life is good!  When Sopes called this morning I handed the phone off to Lyla.  That's punishment enough for him.  She'll talk about nothing FOREVER and keep him on the phone.  Rambling is what she does best!

BTW - thanks for all of the kind messages yesterday.  Everyone has good days and bad days.  Moms out there realize this the most!  We all have our own set of problems.  Diminishing, and scrutinizing doesn't do anyone good.

 

 

Everyone has a breaking point - I've reached mine!

It’s been a while, I know.  Christmas was wonderful!  New Years was pretty boring, nice.

Finally, hitting my breaking point! I haven’t gotten pissed at Sopes since he moved.  We both know this is what was best for our family and have pretty much sucked it up.  Yesterday, kind of lost it – ok – went fucking crazy!!

I got through the holidays, cooking, shopping, wrapping, planning, the whole deal.  Completely get it that he can’t help out.  Being home with the kids for 2 weeks without a break, Jayla with her asthma attacks, me working everyday now and to top it off Jake is now having nightmares!  I’ve hit a wall!  One night of solid sleep would do me some good.

Yesterday was my move in day for the store.  Sopes played in Montreal on Sunday and had yesterday off.  Yeah, so I was hoping for him to come in and help me out.  Nope – off to Florida to bask in the sun he went.  Don’t get me wrong; he does come home more than I thought he would and does deserve the time to relax.  His body is pretty beaten up, but the help would have been nice.  Trying to lift the boxes, put furniture together and scrub everything down sucked without help. 

I was woken up Monday morning at 4am to his late night phone call.  Being up with the kids is one thing – this is another.  His phone calls of boredom, along with, “It’s too hot here”; just not welcoming at all!  I’ve got enough on my plate without trying to figure out his huge problems, like where to find a pair of shorts.

I, trying to be the patient wife, didn’t say a word until 8:15 last night.  The kids were gone to bed and Dad still hadn’t called.  Finally, I called him.  Apparently, he just sat down to watch the football game.  Before that?  He was at dinner relaxing and watching the hockey game.  Yup, lost it!  I’d love just 10min. without worrying about everyone, let alone a 3 hour leisurely meal!

I did try going about my day this morning.  Not wanting to fight the issue of clothes this morning, I dressed the girls while they were still sleeping.  Jake off to school, check.  Jayla off to school, check.  Lyla, ortho appt. then off to school, check.  The point where I knew it was a bed day?  In Starbucks this morning they ran out of the little pink donuts I love.  Haven't had them in over a month, but wanted to treat myself.  I actually ended up fucking crying!  This is when all of the moms out there know that you're too spent to actually have any sort of a productive day.  My judgement at this point was questionable on all levels.

Today I’m spending the day in bed.  Watching t.v. and reading.  I’d love to take a bath, but that’s a whole other deal!  The water in the tub is coming out brown.  I’ve called the plumber, who couldn’t fix it, and have now given up.  This would not be at the top of the priority list at the moment. 

I officially need a break!  Maybe when he comes home for All-star break, I need to go on vacation… 

 

The Santa Discussion...Settled!!

First of all, thanks for all of the advice yesterday.  Unfortunately, Matt Lauer blew my cover!  I watch the Today Show every morning - well at least have it on in the background.  Apparently, they talked about it on the show!

I casually mentioned Santa to her yesterday morning and the tears started rolling!  You lied!  This means the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Leprechauns, the Summer Bugs, the Full Moon Fairy, they're all lies!  Shit - I guess I lied more than I thought.  "BREATHE AND QUIET DOWN!"  Not prepared, I just sat and listened.  She was in NO WAY ready to hear the truth.  So I made up some more lies of course!  Also, she really has diarrhea of the mouth and her sister would know within 2 minutes of me telling her.  

Yes, Lyla, we buy the gifts.  Santa calls us and gives his report on how you've behaved this year; he watches all of the time.  He also suggests what we need to buy for each child.  Because of his age, Santa is unable to deliver all of the gifts himself.  "So Santa Claus is just like God?" she asked.  WTF??  Now she's using the God comparison?  "What do you mean? I asked.  "Well, just like God is everywhere, Santa is too?"  Not wanting to get into that whole discussion, "Yes, just like God."  "That's whey it's called the Christmas Spirit!"  Lyla led me down that path, and I took it!

Just as I thought, 30 seconds after the conversation, Jake came running upstairs; "You told Lyla about Santa?"  I simply told him that she doesn't know the whole truth - just ignore it.  

After talking with Sopes, we've decided that the lies parents tell are just fine.  She'll thank us for it someday for letting her keep the "holiday magic" for a little while longer!

So on a different note - we had one hell of a day yesterday!  Jayla has gotten a new pair of mittens that let the tips of her fingers peek out, as well as a pair of ear-muffs from out nanny.  She hasn't taken them off - and their causing havoc in the house!  The t.v. is so loud we can't hear ourselves and she's shouting instead of speaking!

Jayla, back at it this morning!

**I need Chicagogrl1 to contact me!!